Changing Times

Recently I had a conversation with a women In reference to the Biblical role of a man.
I was shocked that In this day and time so many women say the samething "I think a man should be a provider,leader,protector etc..."

In my opinion and take it as such if you believe in the traditional role of a man which was based on the traditional role of a family then your setting yourself up for a plethora of
Old antiquated ideologies.
First lets take the traditional role of man in Biblical times man was better educated,mainly because women had been so suppressed they were not allowed to even have a opinion, job,self confidence etc...

There were no rule governing there rights so men were in total control.
To me that sounds more like slavery than the way one should treat the one they love what happen to treat people the way you want to be treated. Now don't get me wrong I do believe that a man is more suited for labour just do to the genetic make up of the body he definitely is build for work, and because we can't have children I don't believe that it makes since to believe that women were sat up to work hand and hand with men but In today's world support isn't solely who works the most physical.  Women are no longer are less educated they are not stuck at home or (well in most cases) scared to speak there minds.

Therefore able to adequately compete with men financially .
I truely believe if a women wants to stay home have children and have her husband provide for the famiily that's her right and his responsiblility but I also think that if a woman wants to get out there work hard beside her man she should and society should not frown on him or her,that's there choice I believe every family should have a leader,but it should not be based on who makes the most money.  Just as chores should not be based on who wear the  pants.
It amazes me that the same woman that believe the traditional role of a man don't believe the traditional role of a woman to tell them to be quiet stay home raise kids would start a world war.
You can't have it both ways please people set your home up with what works if being home makes you happy live on be happy if working side by side makes you happy do that if something in between makes you happy do that but please don't beat your man up if you make more money than he if he's doing his best help him, and if his role is leader than money should not change that peace.

The Right Support Group

During my recent battle with my weight I experienced something that I had only heard of Yo-Yo Dieting I have gained all the weight back. I quickly found out that all my so called friends some of my closes relativeness that seemed to be cheering me on were just waiting for failure. Some were actually glad I didn't succeed because it gave them an excuse why they have not accomplished there own goals I have learned that a battle of this magnitude needs to have little victory's and short term goals the will boost your moral during the journey I have learned to watch who you share your goals with and to make sure you stay around positive people.

Life is short only you have control of it the people that you decide to share your life with choose wisely if you see that you have made an mistake change them don't allow others to predict your future be weary of those that so freely give advice on things that they have yet to accomplish be polite and listen even a broken clock is right twice a day like my Grand Dad used to say eat the lean spit out the fat so I will just start again this time I have new tools in my arsenal one is the right support group the other is I know it can be done

Responsibility and Roles

Recently I took time to think about something I've heard my entire life. "As a man you are responsible for this or it is the man's role to do that. Early as a small boy I was told what was expected of a man by the people who raised me, then as I got older I was told by society in schools, on jobs, at church and once I become a man I being told in my home by my wife.

I have often wondered how does anyone really know what a man's responsibility is or what his roles should be better than the man in question himself. If I had a dollar for each time I've been told by someone else what my responsibility is or what role is mine I would be a rich man.

In my opinion what my responsibility is should be determined by me, I am the one best to determine what I can and can not do. What my role is should also be determined by me. Responsibilities and roles are not gender exclusive, I think the responsibility or role of anyone (male or female) should be determined based on whomever the outcome affects.

If I am better at getting the job at hand done than it should be my responsibility. However if someone else (sister, aunt, grandmother, wife or daughter) is better at it than it should become their responsibility. If I am a better cook should the family starve or eat things that are less than palatable because "it is not my responsibility or role to cook simply because I am a man?

I think responsibilities and roles are shared by all parties involved. Together we should look at what needs to be accomplished, figure out who is the best to make it happen and work together to accomplish it.

As a man I have determined that my responsibility and my role is to do my absolute best at what is needed of me to support the needs of myself and those I love and care most about.

Mans Duty

All my life I life been hearing this thing be a man,thats  a mans duty, a real man wouldn't do that who made these rules anyway ? Does God go around zapping people for doing things that are are not in there gender? Why are men not supposed cry ? When my dad died it hurt just like it would for any human why was it so hard to show that I was sad just wondering why its so sociably accepted for women to be manly but if a male is emotional he's cast Into the pit of hell it seems to me that the average women knows more about being a man than the men themselves so I say be what you are and if people don't like it get a life of your own after all I am just a man.

Motivations

When I made the decision to change my health by eating better, exercising to loose weight. I did what I have always done, I turned to the people closest to me for support.

I knew eating better, exercising to loose weight and become healthier was going to be the hardest thing I've tried to do so far in my life. However, soon after making the decision to change and looking to my support system (the important people in my life) for support, the support was not there. It was then that I realized for the first time that I have an unhealthy dependency on others and their opinions when it comes to making decisions that are important to me. For years, what others think has weighted heavily on whether I went with my decision or dropped it all together.

How did I come to depend on others for the courage to make decisions that affect my life? Now at age 46, I am learning that those closest to you can have such an influence on you that they change your mind, discourage you from doing something that you had previously decided was a good decision.

Now don't get me wrong, I know they (family, friends) mean well but how can the personal responsibility of making a decision for one's self be heavily weighted by what others think? After all, this is my life and I should be the best person to decide how best to live it. When you think about it those same people who deter you from making and sticking with decisions usually have way too much control over your life and very little control over their own.

Recent lesson learned. The ones you love the most are normally the ones that keep you from trying new things. So, I've decided (independently I might add) to take steps to guard my dreams, aspirations from people who will persuade me into not believing in myself, believing in my own capability to make good, sound decisions for myself, by myself. I have also decided to make healthier connections, I'm going to pick and choose people who are good for me and I am going to minimize or reduce my connection to others who are not.

Thanks for reading my blog.

Nate